In a couple of weeks, I'll finally get my first couple of tatoos...

I'm going to get inked along with my friend Marion-I. I'm getting a chameleon on one hip, a Bad Badtz Maru (my alter ego) on the other.

The only trouble is, I have to find a spot where I have enough flesh/fat so it doesn't hurt too much... But I'm super excited !

Next week, I'm getting my right ear pierced twice again.

Can you tell I'm into body modifications right now ?

Blythou out.

I just love that expression, you know, wardrobe malfunction. The English language is just brilliant and so versatile when it comes to creating new words and expressions that are virtually impossible to translate in French.

Anyway...

I've just done my bi-annual wardrobe transfer, switching from Summer to Winter clothes. Because, yes, it's already pretty cold in Paris and my limited amount of body fat doesn't keep me warm. Looking like a shivering chihuahua is cute but to a certain limit.

So here come the interesting clothing stats. I know you're dying to read those.

- 95% of my stuff comes from H&M. And half of that is from H&M Young, the line for teens.
- 95% of my stuff is black. The rest is grey. But oddly, I have some pieces that are orange and black or dark red.
- 5% of the stuff that doesn't come from H&M are either expensive stuff that I bought on sale or from my Tokyo vacation.
- I own WAY too many jeans, and most are the slim/skinny kind. 
- I own WAY too many leggins and pantyhose of all kinds. Including an alarming array of fishnets.
- I own a lot of skirts (most of them incredibly short) and dresses.
- I've lost count of the stripey items I own. I even have TWO turtleneck stripey sweaters that are almost identical.
- I have 3 pairs of short shorts. For Winter, for Chrissakes. Someone wants to prove to the world that her legs don't look stumpy or what ?
- I hardly have any sexy lingerie, because I can't find anything in my size. Or if I do, it's with padding and underwires and it hurts me.

I don't dress my age... But at least, I've reached a point where I can wear cute/innocent/girly clothes that make me look like a cute rockin' chick, instead of a bimbo-ish critter. Suits me perfectly. I hate it when men look at me like I'm a sex object or a piece of meat.

Blythou out.

Last week, while browsing the sales, I hear this mother-daughter couple discussing the cuts of various jeans. They're both very blah, quite bottom-heavy and the daughter is the sort of girl who insists on wearing clothes that are both unflattering and way too tight for her.

Mother (picking up a pair of skinny jeans) : what kind of cut do you think it is ?
Daughter : it's the latest cut (yeah, latest if you haven't been out of your cave for 3 years or so)
Mother : I'm not sure about those...

Mother and daughter then see me picking one up, since I already own the very same pair (which adorns my butt at the time) and just love it and this one happens to be 50% off.

Me, volunteering information : I have those jeans on. Narrow leg, waist is, err, normal, neither high, now low rise.

Daughter : oh, I see. I'm going to get a pair. That's a nice cut, very flattering, makes one look slimmer I guess.


Ouch. Looks like your typical case of wishful thinking. I've heard countless others buying stuff that looked WAY too small (but, eh, they're going to lose weight), too young, too unflattering... I wonder why women are such masochists when it comes to dressing. It's funny, because I always tend to buy clothes that are too big. I always assume I won't fit in the size I'm supposed to wear...

Blythou out.

I've just switched to my Summer wardrobe... And I found out I no longer have cute dresses for the warm weather. Since I'd gained a few very annoying pounds a few years ago, I hadn't bought *that* many clothes. And my old stuff, into which I could fit again last year was just old fashionned so I gave it away.

Of course, last Summer I didn't buy that much for fear of not keeping the weight down. Now I've even lost some more so I'm glad I haven't splurged. And I'm not sure I'm going to splurge now, because I truly hate that faux bohemian style with long tent dresses (they make me look like a waify hippie who's wearing her big sister clothes). I'm not a flower child AT ALL, so I shouldn't dress like one.

Oh, and I don't have cute Summer shoes either. What happened to my shopping self ?

Blythou out.