I just love that expression, you know, wardrobe malfunction. The English language is just brilliant and so versatile when it comes to creating new words and expressions that are virtually impossible to translate in French.

Anyway...

I've just done my bi-annual wardrobe transfer, switching from Summer to Winter clothes. Because, yes, it's already pretty cold in Paris and my limited amount of body fat doesn't keep me warm. Looking like a shivering chihuahua is cute but to a certain limit.

So here come the interesting clothing stats. I know you're dying to read those.

- 95% of my stuff comes from H&M. And half of that is from H&M Young, the line for teens.
- 95% of my stuff is black. The rest is grey. But oddly, I have some pieces that are orange and black or dark red.
- 5% of the stuff that doesn't come from H&M are either expensive stuff that I bought on sale or from my Tokyo vacation.
- I own WAY too many jeans, and most are the slim/skinny kind. 
- I own WAY too many leggins and pantyhose of all kinds. Including an alarming array of fishnets.
- I own a lot of skirts (most of them incredibly short) and dresses.
- I've lost count of the stripey items I own. I even have TWO turtleneck stripey sweaters that are almost identical.
- I have 3 pairs of short shorts. For Winter, for Chrissakes. Someone wants to prove to the world that her legs don't look stumpy or what ?
- I hardly have any sexy lingerie, because I can't find anything in my size. Or if I do, it's with padding and underwires and it hurts me.

I don't dress my age... But at least, I've reached a point where I can wear cute/innocent/girly clothes that make me look like a cute rockin' chick, instead of a bimbo-ish critter. Suits me perfectly. I hate it when men look at me like I'm a sex object or a piece of meat.

Blythou out.

My friend Ginger gave me my dream leather coat yesterday... It's a dark red leather coat that belonged to her late mother. It fits perfectly well, the leather is just used the way I like it and well, it belonged to her mom, so it means a whole lot to me. I wore it today and I felt great in it, even though I'm used to wearing black and not red.
She also gave me a black leather sheath dress which makes me look totally skinny and lean. I love it.

I never buy leather clothing because I'm a vegetarian and I have second thoughts about leather... But deep down, I love that stuff !

I sometimes wish I wasn't so obsessed with clothes, fashion, image, make-up... But I can't help it. I'm vain. And I'm old enough to admit it now.

Blythou out.

Last week, while browsing the sales, I hear this mother-daughter couple discussing the cuts of various jeans. They're both very blah, quite bottom-heavy and the daughter is the sort of girl who insists on wearing clothes that are both unflattering and way too tight for her.

Mother (picking up a pair of skinny jeans) : what kind of cut do you think it is ?
Daughter : it's the latest cut (yeah, latest if you haven't been out of your cave for 3 years or so)
Mother : I'm not sure about those...

Mother and daughter then see me picking one up, since I already own the very same pair (which adorns my butt at the time) and just love it and this one happens to be 50% off.

Me, volunteering information : I have those jeans on. Narrow leg, waist is, err, normal, neither high, now low rise.

Daughter : oh, I see. I'm going to get a pair. That's a nice cut, very flattering, makes one look slimmer I guess.


Ouch. Looks like your typical case of wishful thinking. I've heard countless others buying stuff that looked WAY too small (but, eh, they're going to lose weight), too young, too unflattering... I wonder why women are such masochists when it comes to dressing. It's funny, because I always tend to buy clothes that are too big. I always assume I won't fit in the size I'm supposed to wear...

Blythou out.

Being a cheap bastard has its perks... I found some more great stuff at H&M yesterday evening, including a pink, leopard print, fuzzy Hello Kitty robe that's so over the top it's amazing.

The older I get, the harder it's for me to spend my dough on clothes. I love fashion, I adore clothes, I have a huge wardrobe, plus a big box of clothes under my bed, shoes in three different closets, etc. but I refuse to spend a fortune on something because it's a famous brand.

And anyway, I've tried to convince myself that I can look good in something cheap as long as it's my style. So far, it works.

Oh, well, ok, I paid more for a Clinique eyeshadow (on sale !!!) than on a third pair of skinny jeans, but I have a sensitive skin, whereas my butt is ok as long as it's got something on that fits.

Blythou out.

The first day of the sales was productive to say the least. For unknown reasons (maybe the Sales Divinities were smiling on me), H&M had *everything* I wanted in my size. Usually, they have a very limited stock of size 34/XS in the first place, but not this time...

I found two skinny jeans, two Hello Kitty bras and a HK nightie, a little black dress, a Marimekko for H&M bag and a belted jacket. Pics available on my Flick'r.

I've also bought those darling red shoes. Because I love shoes. Because they're no such thing as too many shoes.

This was only a sales test run. I shall return. Tonight.

Blythou out